I have no idea how I'm going to pay off my student debt. I racked up $20,000 over the course of three years (it should have been $14,000, but that's a story I'll save for later). I know that's a relatively "low amount" when compared to the national average, but it's such a daunting figure. It's like a gloomy cloud hanging overhead. It looks dark and ominous, yet it never brings any rain.
But here I am getting caught up in the negatives. I really enjoyed my last year of school. It was eye-opening in many ways. It showed me how much I can push myself without breaking. I don't know. I'm just anxious. There are so many things I still want to do, things the "professional world" looks down upon and I have this awful feeling that this is it. This small part of my life is the only time I'm gonna be able to do those things and come Saturday morning that part of my life is over.
I was at a initiation dinner the other night and I was listening to this guy talk about how he always knew he wanted to be a doctor. As I listened to him I couldn't help but be jealous. Why does he get to know what he wants to do for the rest of his life at such a young age when I haven't ever been able to figure it out. All I know is that I want to write, but...
Wow this is the most disjointed post I've written so far. It sounds like something I'd write in my journal. You know what would be cool, a library of people's journals. Everyday people, you and me. I'd like to curate a collection of everyday people's journals. You could read what someone was feeling or doing on a particular day, capture a moment in their life. Maybe I'll do that.
