Election Night 2020

I cannot believe it's actually here. Election Night...It feel like I've aged 10 years since 2016. I think a lot of us feel that way. 

What's going to happen? I turned on the news as they were talking about businesses who have boarded up their stores in anticipation for tonight and this is not the first time I've heard this. It seems that across the board, whether Biden wins or Trump holds, people expect there to be violence. An article I read yesterday said that gun sales have shot up in 2020. People are anxious, antsy, depressed, facing intense quarantine fatigue with no end in sight, they're out of work and know that we won't know a definitive winner tonight. 

What is going to happen?

I feel exhausted. In my attempt to be healthier I've started jog/walking and I think I may have irritated my shin splints which is annoying. I wish I could be a jogger, you know those people who run like 5 miles everyday just because they love it. I love jogging for the first minute and then my body is screaming at me. I've only been at it for a couple of weeks now so I really shouldn't count myself out without really trying for a sustained period of time but I feel like my body is not happy with me at all. 

Speaking of my body. I've been trying to make a point to listen to what my body is telling me. A lot of my life I've been unaware of what's been going on. My soreness, cravings, exhaustion has always seemed random to me. In fact, it never occurred to me that all of it means something. Just this year I've been able to tell when I'm getting my period based on how much I'm craving baked goods. I've been able to tell what days I need to take it easy, based on whether or not I feel like I need a nap. How wild is that? That your body can just tell you things, that it knows what it needs and when it needs it. All we have to do is listen. That's something I really wish I learned earlier. 

I'm thinking about doing some more movie reviews or structured articles on here. I like the journal like feel I've had these past couple of posts because it's something I can look back on in the future and kind of judge where I was at the time; but, I miss the structured writing that I did in school. Essays, book reports, film reviews. The planning, the excitement when things come together, the despair when they don't, the anger that leads you to tear everything up and throw it away. I'm thinking I might want to explore that again. Right now, I'm using this blog as a way to reignite my love of writing. I think it's still there but I don't know, there's a lot of fear too. Am I good enough? Is anything I create worth reading. I guess we'll see...

Love, 

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